yes, its Christmas time!
And do you know what?
I HATE IT!!
I hate x-mas like so much other Things in my Live!
But that is nothing special many people hat things like themself or you!
But there is one good thing that happend in the last time...
My best girlfriend is talking to me again.. yes we used to have a argue but I think its over now!
And I love it to be over!!!!
Yes, in a few Hours X-Mas is over and teffi is happy again!
Just, so happy like everyday! Is that real happyness? Or is it just a Lie??
My fucking Live starts to break!!
yes i writtens ome emotical shit yesterday its the only Way to get me through this Nightmare!
That I wake up in the morning
And then get out of bed
There’s no point
If I’ve got nothing to do
That I’ve got a closet
Full of bones I’ll never show
Sad I went through what I did
I don’t wish it on anyone
But it happens
That I"d hurt myself
I turn emotions
Into cuts and bruises
I make myself bleed
And I suppose
That I hate myself
I know it’s sad because I cry
And that’s a sure sign that
Things aren’t as they should be
I’m sad…that I’m fucking sad
Is suicide really the way?
I live my life everyday..
In and out through depression
Its something my parents would question..
As the pain flows through my nerves
I watch as the blade carefully curves
Tiny red droplets of blood appear..
This cloth in my hand makes them dissapear..
Getting from the toilet, blade in my mouth..
I was done for the night, I was going to be quiet as a mouse..
Pulling it from my mouth; another streak of pain fills my gasp,
My tounge and teeth turn red.
For a moment there, I though I was dead..
Yeah - I wish, Instead a slice apon my bottom lip was made..
As dad yells at me I suck the blood..
Running to my room I slam the door shut..
Tears roll down my cheeks as I tighten the grip..
For a moment there I was really going to slit..
Instead I lay on my bed, and pick up my pen..
Begin writing what I call..
My Emotional Blabber..
its nothing special
just my thoughts!
Ich habe es fast geschafft dieses scheiß Weihnachten hinter mich zu bringen!
Ja steffi hat wieder eine anständige diggicam bekommen und natürlich direkt fotos gemacht!
Naja bin ins wasser gefallen grade eben am Stausee ich sage euch das war sau kalt!
Naja ansonsten war mein Tag bis jetzt wie jeder scheiß andere tag! LAngweilig!!!
Ich vermisse so einiges in meine leben: P0ldi FuX Soty Ron und naja ich werde das alles nie haben könenn!